Saturday, February 18, 2012

Being kind to yourself Part I: Emotions


I recently promised my therapist someone that I would start taking better care of myself. When I first agreed to the challenge I thought of the physical things I needed to do to get right with myself. Begin working out, eating better, drinking more water, getting more sleep. Yes. I absolutely need to do those things. I've already started. I've eaten more vegetables in the last two days than  in the past month (yes I realize that's awful). What I really want to talk about though is emotionally taking care of yourself.

I am a self-proclaimed guilt junky. I don't know if you know what I mean but if you're one too than you feel me. If there is anything possible to feel guilty about I'll find it. What I ate, what I didn't eat, what I said to someone in the 4th grade etc etc etc. Self-forgiveness is something I've never been good at. I have very high expectations for myself. In many ways this has paid off. I have my master's degree, a good paying job, a lovely home but in other ways...deeper ways...it has been detrimental. The Dalai Lama says:


If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
A synonym for compassion is mercy. If we are to show others compassion, show them mercy, shouldn't we also show ourselves the same kindness? For me, as a person, it is easier to forgive the actions of others than to forgive my own. I'm far harder on myself than anyone else. I am vowing to take better care of myself by directing the compassion I give others inwardly. I have this sneaking suspicion if I'm a little easier on myself that other things in my life will also be accomplished with more ease and if not I'll still be able to sleep better at night.



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